I remember when I rented my first apartment in LA. I lived on the second floor of a typical west LA apartment building. None of my neighbors, aside from the initial “hi-who-are-you-how-can-I-help,” seemed to show much interest in me or the problems I was having that everyone experiences when they first move away from their parents. But thinking about it now, I can really say that I took getting advice from friendly neighbors for granted.
I guess I was naive. What I needed, like all people who try to make it in a new city, was human connection. There were times when I got down because I missed a job opportunity, had a fender bender and didn’t know the ins and outs of insurance policies and got screwed, etc. when I could have used more helpful tips. To make a long story short, I managed to survive this far. But it could have, and perhaps should have, been easier if I were only able to break the wall of silence between me and my neighbors. What I should have done was sublease a room.
As a sub letter in a big city, there is a big chance that you are living with someone who shares the same ups and downs. And that is fertile ground for opening up about your woes.
Three out of four pieces of advice given here on the Huffington Post center around connecting with others. For those with no family connections or friends in a strange and new city, sometimes the only option is to open up and connect. This is survival mode. But this isn’t always so easy for everyone, which is what makes thriving even more difficult for so many here. In the social media age we tend to think we are connected but in actuality only connect on the most superficial of levels (often mindless text and images devoid of context). Living with someone new and like-minded is the ultimate advantage of stripping away the layers of defenses and being open to new experiences.
Wanting a great apartment when you move to LA is perfectly normal. Wanting those invaluable connections, especially in the arts and entertainment fields, doesn’t have to be a separate pursuit. As an LA newbie, your rental options are limited to an extreme when you arrive: you’ve got limited funds, often a credit problem, debt up your a$#, and you haven’t bought a car yet. “Advice after mischief is like medicine after death,” as goes the Danish proverb. And too many people who have planted their feet in LA have gone back to their native cities because they didn’t have anyone to tell them what to do until it was too late. Shared living is sort of the antidote to hasty lifestyle choices in a new city, particularly in a perception-oriented climate like LA. And when people save us from the fire, we want to give back to others; the struggle continues.
When you’re down, the idea is to not stay down. Those who show resilience are worthy of our respect because we love survivors. They make for great stories, and we want to be one of them. In order to thrive and become a success, you have to first survive by connecting with others in your immediate environment. Subleasing and/or shared living is the new industry mixer and community council meeting wrapped up in one. In each separate event, you work to improve your status at work and at home. But when you bring them together, you gain that much of an edge as an LA newbie.
–Nir Dayan